I recently got to photograph a Catholic betrothal ceremony as part of an engagement session, and I immediately knew I needed to let more people in on what that even is!!
“To the Lord I will tender my promise: in the presence of all His people.”
When my husband and I got engaged years ago, his sweet aunt surprised us with a scavenger hunt through the streets of downtown Pensacola that ended in the Basilica of St. Michael the Archangel. There, the rector of the basilica performed the Rite of Betrothal – which I had never heard of before.
Being betrothed in the Catholic Church is a more formal commitment than an engagement. While engagement indicates intent to marry, betrothal is a contractual promise to get married. Back in the day, this would be when families would negotiate the details of the marriage contract, such as exchange of land and property. Breaking a betrothal is more serious than just calling off an engagement. The particular use of this rite fell off after Vatican II was implemented, but is apparently making a comeback in recent years!
The Catholic Betrothal Rite
The rite is very short, not lasting more than 10 minutes, and can be done within the context of Mass or by itself. Some priests are not familiar with the rite, so you will need to find one that is comfortable saying it. You’ll also need two official witnesses for your ceremony. It begins with the recitation of Psalm 126, after which the priest addresses the couple in an allocution, explaining the importance of the rite and the blessings that come with it.
Following this, the couple joins hands and vows to enter into the sacrament of marriage. The priest will then bless them with the ends of his stole in the shape of a cross over the hands of the couple. After their vows, he sprinkles them with holy water, blesses the engagement ring and pronounces them officially betrothed! There’s even a form that the couple, their witnesses, and the priest sign at the end of the rite.
There’s no rules for when the ceremony has to take place during your engagement – my husband and I’s ceremony was the month before our wedding! Other couples choose to do it as a part of the proposal or in the early months of engagement. At any rate, the Catholic betrothal ceremony is a beautiful way to surrender your engagement to the Lord and to enter in to wedding planning with your engagement firmly centered around God.
If you’re planning on getting betrothed, here are some of my recommendations for your ceremony:
- Make it a date! Engagement is a time to CELEBRATE!! I think everyone should lean into celebration more when they’re engaged. Make reservations at a fun restaurant or invite your friends to join you at your betrothal and have a little party afterwards. Your engagement is a joyful but short period, so soak up all the celebrations!
- Use your hair and makeup trial on this day! I tell my couples to use their hair and makeup trial for special occasions during engagement, such as a bridal shower or engagement photos. Your betrothal would be the perfect occasion, too.
- Get a photographer for your ceremony! As a Catholic wedding photographer, I think it’s so sweet to incorporate these ceremonies into an engagement session. It’s a fun peek into what your wedding day photos will look like, too.
- If you’re involved at your parish, have it during a Sunday Mass (if that’s okay with your pastor!) so that your parish community can celebrate with and pray for you both.
Engagement is such a fun time in your life!! I know it can be stressful with planning sometimes, but as Catholics, we are blessed to have so many rich traditions and prayers in this period of life. Soak up any chances for extra graces and deeper preparation for the vocation of marriage. If you’re interested in Catholic wedding specific traditions, check out my blog post here about those!
“May God bless your bodies and your souls. May He shed His blessing upon you as He blessed Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Allow the hand of the Lord be upon you, may He send His holy Angel to guard you! Amen.”
